I can still see it and feel it, the dizziness, the
see saw affect on the protective rail I had willingly climbed, though I could barely reach.
Then the sudden surprising glorious sunset, the sun a deep dark tangerine I had never seen before, then I knew someone was there, showing me what I was truly giving up, eternal peace and joy.
Why am I the way I am? There is something there. Something not known, but still known deep to my soul nevertheless. When my troubles were the worst, when my pain was unbearable. When the choices were few and the sorrow was unmanagable.
Each and every time, I cried to the heavens for help or mercy. I was shown, that no matter how I hurt, how ugly people can really be. There really is a beautiful life to see. There is peace and tranquility in life. Search for it, for it is there. If you have faith, the search will not be long.
Once you have learned to turn to the light and strength, in times of sorrow and misery. It is time to share what you know, Time to prove that no matter what you have been through, the saving grace is that you are not the same and never truly alone. The power to change things, truly, belong in your own hands.
Be kind, be cheerful, share, care and show the world, a beautiful soul inspite of the misery, for what if their misery is worse then your own? And a smile from you is all they can count on, what if a hello my friend, is the only kind thing they see in their entire day? What if you can save someone from the brink of death? Just by being there for them in whatever little way you can?
Would you do it? Why am I the way I am?
